Charity

Caregiving Q&A with Leeza

What do you wish every family caregiver knew before beginning their caregiving journey?

At the start, you may not feel capable or prepared. That’s normal — caregiving won’t wait for you to be ready. You get ready by showing up every day. There are few things in life more rewarding or more purpose-driven than this. But let’s be honest: it’s hard. It can eat into your days and nights, your career, your relationships, even your sense of who you are. We’ve spent decades telling caregivers to “be strong,” “take it one day at a time,” “remember self-care.” Good reminders, sure. But they miss something deeper.

Caregiving is a practice. A series of losses, adjustments, and moments of incredible grace, all mixed together. You don’t have to know how to do it all on day one. What you actually need is permission — permission to ask for help before you’re desperate, to build your support team before you’re in crisis. There will be moments when you question whether you’re enough. Nearly every caregiver does. That’s not failure, that’s the job. Perfection was never the goal. Presence is.

So here’s what I want caregivers to know: love alone isn’t enough — and that’s not a failure, it’s a fact. You were never meant to carry this alone. And being a good caregiver should never require sacrificing the person you are.

“Caregiving isn’t about doing it all alone; it’s about showing up, asking for help, and finding strength in connection. ”
– Leeza Gibbons

How can caregivers care for themselves while supporting someone they love?

We’ve all heard “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” True — but for a lot of caregivers, it feels impossible in practice. Here’s the thing, though: self-care doesn’t have to be some big, sweeping gesture like a massage or a vacation. Sometimes it’s just saying yes when someone offers to sit with your loved one for an hour. Sometimes it’s keeping your own doctor’s appointment, taking a walk around the block, or sitting in silence with a cup of coffee before the day starts. The goal was never to escape caregiving — it’s to stay present for it without disappearing yourself in the process.

I remind caregivers of this often: you matter. Not after caregiving, not someday — today. You can hold on to yourself even while you’re letting go of someone you love. Because when caregivers take care of themselves, everyone they love benefits too.

When I was actively caregiving during my mom’s Alzheimer’s journey, I kept an audio journal — just for my scariest thoughts, the ones I was almost ashamed of, the ones I was afraid to say out loud. I needed to give voice to that pain, like small tremors before a bigger quake. I always say “you can’t heal it if you don’t reveal it,” and that reveal can look like a lot of things. Sometimes it’s pulling over on the side of the road and just screaming for a minute. Sometimes it’s sitting teary-eyed in a warm bath at the end of the day. Caring demands that you find your own sanity sanctuaries — and protect them like your life depends on it. Because it does.

What role does community play in helping caregivers feel less alone?

Oh, this is a big one. Isolation might be one of the hardest parts of caregiving. It’s genuinely hard to find people who “get it.” That’s actually one of the reasons I created Leeza’s Care Connection — I wanted a community of people who’ve stood exactly where you’re standing, on a path that’s anything but easy. Friends often don’t know what to say. Family members may not fully understand. And little by little, caregivers start to believe they’re the only ones feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and conflicted. Community breaks that spell.

The moment someone says, “That’s me too” — shame starts to loosen its grip. Caregivers don’t necessarily need someone to fix their situation. They need someone who understands it, who can just bear witness to it. So much healing starts the moment you realize you don’t have to explain every feeling to be understood. That’s why I believe the opposite of caregiver burnout isn’t perfection — it’s connection.

For me, this isn’t just a feel-good idea—it’s essential. Community is as important to our healthcare system as any piece of medical equipment. When caregivers get overwhelmed or burn out, families struggle, more people land back in the hospital, and others end up in emergency rooms or long-term care. Those effects spread to workplaces, the healthcare system, and whole communities. Supporting caregivers isn’t just a nice thing to do—it’s a wise investment in the health of all of us.

What’s one caregiving myth you’d like to change?

I’d push back on the myth that caregiving is a private family responsibility. It’s not — it’s a public health issue, a workforce issue, an economic issue. We need to stop treating it like something that happens quietly behind closed doors. Truth is, we’re in the middle of a caregiving crisis, hiding in plain sight. If family caregivers stopped providing care tomorrow, the whole system would collapse. There simply aren’t enough professional caregivers, hospital beds, or long-term care facilities to absorb that need. The only reason the system works at all is that millions of families quietly fill the gaps, every single day.

And the numbers back this up — recent estimates put their unpaid work at more than $1 trillion annually, more than total Medicaid spending. We also keep feeding this idea that asking for help means you’re failing. Somewhere along the way, many caregivers came to believe that doing everything themselves was proof of love. It isn’t. There’s no gold star waiting at the finish line. Real strength isn’t measured by how much you can carry alone — it’s measured by knowing when to let someone help you carry it. We need to retire the “hero caregiver” image and replace it with a healthier one: the supported caregiver.

Because no one wins when the caregiver becomes the next person who needs care.

What message of hope would you share with caregivers today?

Things become more valuable when they’re visible. And for years, caregivers have been America’s invisible essential workforce. That’s finally starting to change — they’re being seen. Employers are paying attention. Healthcare systems are starting to recognize family caregivers as the MVPs of the care team. Policymakers are talking about tax credits, paid leave, respite care, caregiver support — because they’re finally catching up to something we’ve known all along: caregiving isn’t the backup plan. It is the plan.

Caregivers aren’t the safety net beneath our healthcare system. They’re the threads holding the whole thing together. I want every caregiver reading this to know: what you’re doing matters more than you probably realize. There will be days you wonder if you’re making any difference at all — no one says thank you, progress feels invisible, and you’re running on fumes.

But love is measured in ordinary moments — the hand you hold, the meal you make, the same conversation you have for the hundredth time. Those moments matter. And so do you.

“You may never fully see the impact of your care, but love leaves soulprints that last far beyond the hardest days.”

And never forget: care is stronger together.

Originally shared with Learn2Care.